It has been a LONG time since I have posted anything about the adoption--primarily because there really has been very little to post. We met with our social worker way back in the beginning of November to begin the process of renewing/redoing our homestudy for our new agency. What with having to get additional clearances from several states, fingerprints, etc., it was finally last Friday that our homestudy was approved by all the parties involved and ready for us to pick up.
That means that all of our documents are now almost done (there's one letter from the state that we're still waiting on) and ready to notarize and apostille. My hope is that this is all done and in the mail to the agency by the end of the week. We just need to make an appointment with the notary, get final clearance from the agency on our document, and then run the entire packet into downtown Springfield to the Secretary of State's office.
On the one hand, I feel a bit like, "been there, done that." Part of me just feels like this is another set of paperwork that needs to be done. It was this time last year that we turned in our dossier to the old agency--I was excited then, and felt like things were going to happen very quickly (at least that's what they told us). After nearly 6 months of waiting with almost no contact from them, my excitement and hope level reached a low that I can only describe as wallowing on my couch with a cat and a blanket, blankly staring at old TV reruns and thinking this is never going to happen.
So, I'm finding it a bit hard to be excited now. Actually, I feel a bit like I don't want to be excited. I don't want to deal with the disappointment and loss of hope again, so I don't really want to hope. When I picked up the homestudy copies this afternoon, I didn't even really want to look at them (in fact, part of me didn't even want to really pick them up). I've lived in this state of "this is never going to happen" for such a long time, that it is hard to believe that it will. Perhaps I will feel different when the paperwork is all apostilled and on its way---I hope so.
I'm sorry that this is a depressing post---I don't want it to be, but I have promised myself that I'm going to start keeping these "real"--in part to be honest with you all, and also to be honest with myself. I do know that things will get better, but I feel like I'm guarding my heart here. I do know that I'm going to have to let go of the fear, and I'm trying to listen to God in the midst of all this.
Thank you all for all the encouragement. I promise to keep you posted when everything is on its way--again.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. ---Proverbs 3:5-6
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption. And by him we cry "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson
Dec 27, 2010------HOME 1 YEAR! Oct 17, 2010------K's 2nd Birthday (the first one with us)! Jan 17, 2010------K's 15 month birthday
Dec 27, 2009-----Finally HOME with baby K
Dec 24, 2009-----To Moscow and to the US Embassy
Dec 23, 2009-----Pick up baby K from the detskii dom in Kaluga--she's ours forever!
Dec 23, 2009-----Finally arrive in Moscow EARLY in the morning
Dec 19, 2009-----Leave (try #1) for Russia with Auntie Susan
Dec 14, 2009-----Final Exams at MSU and Drury
Dec 9, 2009------Leave for home
Dec 8, 2009------Court Date in Kaluga---10:00 am. The nice Judge said YES!
Dec 6, 2009------See baby K again for first time in month and a half
Dec 4, 2009------Leave for Trip 2 to Kaluga
Nov 17, 2009-----Travel dates for Court in Kaluga!
Nov 5, 2009------Last payment to CSS :-)
Nov 3, 2009------Pick up and apostille the notarized copy of Homestudy Agency's new license and Fed Ex to CSS
Nov, 2, 2009-----Homestudy Agency emailed scan of Homestudy Agency's Updated License to Kaluga
Oct 17, 2009-----Baby K's First Birthday
Oct 14, 2009-----Police background checks and updated dossier documents mailed to agency
Oct 7, 2009------Steve's Birthday AND 70th Birthday of the Baby Home in Kaluga
Sept 29, 2009----Petition to adopt baby K notarized, apostilled, and Fed Exed to agency--ALSO, as of today, we've officially been pursuing this adoption for 4 YEARS!
Sept 20, 2009---Our first meeting with baby K
Sep 17-26, 2009--Travel to Russia to meet baby K
Aug 11, 2009----FBI fingerprints taken and mailed
Aug 7, 2009-----Visa applications mailed
July 28, 2009---Travel dates to visit baby K in Kaluga
mid July 2009---Dossier registered in Kaluga region
July 6, 2009---- Dossier pulled from Tula region
Apr 9, 2009-----Dossier registered in Tula region
Feb 24, 2009----Dossier #2 in Russia
Feb 20, 2009----Homeland Security fingerprints renewed
Feb 13, 2009----Dossier #2 apostilled
Feb 11, 2009----Dossier #2 to notary
Feb 6, 2009-----Homestudy #2 finished
Nov 21, 2008----Physicals for homestudy #2
Nov 7, 2008-----Fingerprints done for homestudy #2
Nov 4, 2008-----Homestudy visit with social worker
Oct 21, 2008----Contract signed with CSS
Sept 26, 2008---Received paperwork from CSS
Sept 17, 2008---Visited Dr. and diagnosed with shingles, received call from CHI that Izhevsk is "closed"
Sept 10, 2008---First call to CSS
Aug, 2008------CHI guidelines for correspondence with regions "changed" but no clear communication as to how or what this will mean for us. Follow-up call to agency gives us very different information than just 3 months previously
July 18, 2008---CHI denied Hague Status
May 27, 2008---Visited in CHI office, bad vibes, representative had "lost our file"
Early Feb 2008--Assigned to Izhevsk region
Jan 25, 2008---Dossier #1 Apostilled
Dec 24, 2007---Received Homeland Security Approval
Dec 21, 2007---CHI reaccredited to work in Russia
Dec 13, 2007---First trip to Homeland Security, first set of fingerprints for Homeland Security
Oct 25, 2007---Homestudy finished
Aug 10, 2007---First set of fingerprints for adoption
July 31, 2007---First physicals for adoption
July 5, 2007----Homestudy biographies finished
July 2007------First agencies reaccredited to work in Russia
April 2007-----Began to work on homestudy
July 2006-Spring 2007--International adoptions from Russia basically shut down during this period, while we were also attempting to get settled and moved-in. This was the "black night of the soul" period for me
Early 2006-----Attempted to straighten out the miscommunication with CHI, began the process of paperwork for homestudy, but then learned around March that we were to be moving in June. Agency advised us to wait until after we were settled in new home to begin the homestudy
Dec 2, 2005-----Applied for new passports
Nov 30, 2005---Contract signed with CHI
Nov 21, 2005----Initial phone conversation with CHI representative (mistakenly told to pursue our I-600 first before the homestudy)