We have now been home from Russia one month. One month and no news. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Squat.
The first couple of weeks were relatively easy. We were both SICK and we had an amazing backload of stuff to get caught up with, and then daily stuff that just needed doing.
But the last couple of weeks have been tough. We celebrated K's birthday last weekend by going out to dinner and registering for stuff at Tar-zhay and Babies-is-us. It was fun to shop (without spending much) but there were so many things that are still "wait and see." What kind of diapers, what kind of bottles, etc., etc. It all brings home that she's not here with us.
And I'll be honest. I am NOT focused on my job. I still do it, and I think I'm doing an ok job, but I just do not care about it like I used to. I have let some things slide that I normally wouldn't (granted, I did need to let some things slide!), but my heart is just not there. Even teaching Russian history is not as much fun as it used to be. I have papers to grade that I just don't even want to read (ok, granted, grading is NEVER fun, but I don't think I've ever put them off this long).
It doesn't help that so many caring people ask, "so when are you going back? Do you have any news?" I know they are trying to show that they care, but after answering for the umpteenth time each day, I feel like people are just tired of hearing, "nope."
This IS tough.
Sorry for the rant...I do feel a bit better now.
Happy 5778…Shana Tova
2 days ago